Point/Counter-Point

It’s Valentine’s Day and as I sit alone in a hotel room my thoughts are of my girlfriend, Rebecca.

This is Rebecca and I at Rainforest Cafe in Nashville.

For reasons that still amaze me, she loves me and I love her.

We met a little over two years when she walked into the local game shop The Rusty Scabbard during our board game night. My initial impressions of her went as follows as I looked up from our current game:

“Wow, she’s cute… But if Paul blocks me off in Boston I’m screwed!”

It’s hard to say it was love at first site but as time went on we developed a friendship. There were many nights after board games spent at Marikka’s where we talked about whatever was going on. School, work, games we had just played and people who came to the game group. It’s something that we both find ourselves missing a lot now that those nights are few and far between to non existent.

She showed up sometime during the Fall semester and was around a lot but when the semester was over she went home to Elizabethtown and I was still here in Lexington. It was during this month of her being absent that I realized something. I missed Rebecca. I mean I REALLY missed Rebecca.

She came back from break and after threatening to kill myself if she didn’t come back to board game night she found her way back to the Rusty Scabbard. From here there were many nights in the month of January spent flirting with each other from across the table at Marikka’s, catching each other looking at the other during board games and eventually a night where I invited her over to make her dinner after work. After the initial shock that I wanted to cook her dinner she accepted and came over.

After a wonderful night I began to talk myself out of it. She’s too young (Rebecca is 6 years younger than me), she isn’t out of college yet, we’re in two different points in our lives… I decided to cut it off before it could go any further.

Later that week Rebecca texted me and wanted to talk. She came and met me in front of Amazing Wonders Gaming and Hobby Center, a game store where I spent a good deal of my time, and we talked. Eventually she convinced me to give “us” another shot. A week later we were “officially” dating.

A few weeks later this picture was taken:

No one was actually hurt taking this photo. Though this is one of my favorites.
Photo credit to Mick Jeffries.

The rest as they say is history. I love you Rebecca, and I’m happy that you convinced me that we should date (twice, though that’s another blog post).

In less than 12 hours we’ll be loading up the car to head to North Carolina. It’s a trip I haven’t made in a few years and I’ve made
various excuses as time has gone on.

It’s been in the last few days, and really the last few hours, that I realized that one of the reasons that I haven’t gone was that I couldn’t bear to say goodbye to my grandfather again.

Don’t misunderstand. This isn’t like saying goodbye to your sister or your aunt. My grandfather has been getting slowly weaker for years. We never quite knew when “the big one” might hit for him. For years when we would go to North Carolina I would tell myself that this may be the last time I would see my grandfather. 4 or 5 times over “this might be the last time you’re going to see your grandfather alive, you better go to North Carolina.”

The last time I saw my grandfather the final thing I remember him telling us was that we could stay there and talk all we wanted but to keep it down because he was going to bed. It was funny in his way… I guess you had to be there.

We had been sitting at his kitchen table, telling stories, cutting up and laughing for about an hour or two after church. Many stories were swapped, mostly by my dad, uncle and aunts. However I did manage to reminisce about the time we got Will’s “ears pierced” when in reality all we had done was get him a fake earring to freak out his mom.

In that moment when he was walking away I was very content. I realized I was happy with that moment being the last time I would see my grandfather alive if it had to be. Surrounded by some of the people he loved the most I imagine that he would be fine with that moment if it were to be his last as well.

However, as I went back to his office to sleep on the fold out couch, with his collection of books, his typewriter and a creepy picture of a severed head that I never completely understood (but man it gave me the willies as a kid) I said my goodbye to him.

In less than 12 hours I’m off to say goodbye to him for the last time.

So it’s been 2 years since I’ve updated this thing. I don’t know why I stopped blogging but I would say that life got in the way. I worked at a game shop for a while (we closed back in October sadly), I fell in love with an amazing young woman and I’ve maintained my job at EAS/Corrisoft. Pretty standard stuff and I guess that I haven’t felt like there’s been much worth writing about.

That and for the past 2 years I’ve been struggling doing really any writing, work related, recreational or otherwise.

So I guess now that the pleasantries are aside (How are you, btw?) I’ll get to the point of why I’m writing tonight.

My grandfather is dying. For real this time.

Paw-paw has had many scares over the years. I haven’t made the reunion in North Carolina for a couple of years but every year when I would leave I would remind myself that this might be the last time I would see my grandfather. I remember standing in Cosmic the day that dad called me and told me he had some bad news. I braced myself that something had happened to Paw-Paw. However that night was a phone call letting me know that my cousin Will had left us all too early.

Every week or so for years when I would think to ask dad how everyone was in North Carolina. Most of the time they were fine however he would let me know about Paw-Paw’s latest scare or how Ma-Maw was having some sort of surgery or the like. He’s a tough old guy and for that reason he turned 91 yesterday.

I don’t know how many times I’ve walked into my manager’s office and told him “My grandfather has taken a turn for the worse. I may need to pick up and leave for North Carolina any day now.” Everytime Paw-Paw has proven that statement unnecessary.

Today my dad asked me if it was okay that I was on the list to be a pallbearer at the funeral. Of course I told him it was fine, I have no problem doing it.

In some strange way I was actually a little honored to even have been considered.

My grandfather is an astounding man. Not only has he lived to the age of 91 he’s served in the military, played minor league baseball, worked as both a postal worker and a fireman, has founded a church and helped to raise six children who went onto have a ridiculous number of grandchildren and great grandchildren whom I am glad to count myself amongst.

When this man who has achieved an incredible amount in his 91 years on this Earth dies *I* will be one of the few to carry him to his final resting place. The place where Paw-Paw will finally get what he has deserved for all these long years of struggle and pain as his body has weakened: An eternity of rest and a place in heaven with his lord and savior.

In the end, that’s all I want for him. It feels selfish for me to want him to remain on this Earth for one more day and in a lot of ways I want nothing more than for him to finally be at peace.

When that day comes it will be my greatest honor to help transport him to his final physical resting place.

Edit on Sunday, February 10th 2013 at 10:17pm:

As of this afternoon Ernest “Paw-Paw” Parks has left his mortal body behind. He will be missed.

Will would have been 21 years old today. And in 4 days it’ll be 4 years since he left us.

Will was my baby cousin and unabashedly he was my favorite. We shared a special bond and I will be forever grateful for the time I had with him.

It’s hard to think that it’s been that long. Just saying it even brings tears to my eyes today. Of all the people in my life I think Will has touched me the most. There are times when life is hard and I think of Will and his strength allows me to carry on. In his short time with us he taught us more than we could ever know about perseverance.

I’m not sure that I could say anything better than my father, uncle and aunt did a few years ago:

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